Today

I have to say that today was definetly one of the most interesting days of my life.            I learned alot about myself today, which is always good. I learned that my life was better than I first thought.  I also learned what alot about life, in general.  So many thoughts rushing past my brain at the moment.  So many things to think about, and its alot of fun.  I mean, why cant we enjoy having endless amounts of questions?  It sounds like it should be a fun thing to sort out.  Right now however, I am going to enjoy the night that was awesome, and the day that was contemplative, and try to get some sleep. 

Yes, I do sleep every once and awhile, contrary to popular belief.

:)

Wow…..this is quite the amazing day.  I had some of my toughest classes today (Music Theory and Keyboard and Harmony) and then I had Wind Ensemble, in which I found out I have a small solo (YES!).  Then I worked for two hours, to later be called by the Jazz Band director and told to come to practice.  So, now, for the moment, I am also in Jazz Band (its so much fun!).  Later today I have a psychology meeting, which can be fun because its such an intersting topic.  Then I have a night of playing guitar with the new praise and worship group I am involved in, and then Exploring the Faith (a group that basically talks about Catholic Theology……EXTREMELY fun and interesting).  Add in the fact that I am really happy about how pretty much all of my life is going, and it couldnt get much better.  Life i almost perfect…..almost.  But hopefully that will change for the better with time :)   For now, I will live with a LITTLE less than perfect, and be just be really really really happy.  And soon, maybe I can add that fourth happy, to make it perfect. (for those of you that DIDN”T know 4 X Happy = Perfect!) Theres a little math lesson for you

Well, I hope to talk to you soon.

  

?

To think I had life figured out.  To know where I was going with life, if only for a day.  It was a good….a great feeling.  But, today is another day, and its as if those question marks decided to make a sneak attack into my brain while I was sleeping.  Now today, although it should be good, as with any other day, I will only pray that it is half as good as yesterday. 

And as for those question marks?  All of those things I was so sure I had figured out, and then, through circumstances, decided to jump on me again.  Those will have to wait for just a little bit longer before I try to figure them out.

Hope all is well in everyones lives, and hopefully I will talk to every one of you soon enough. 

Its a great feeling

I am having a wonderful time seeing so much for what I have worked for in my life is finally coming to truition.  It really is alot of fun.  Not to spin this in a negative light, but I might have to find something more to do now that alot of what I have done is being completed.  But I guess that could be a good thing.  *shrug* we’ll just have to wait and see. 

As of right now, however, I am having an amazing time looking at all of the wonderful things happening right now before my eyes.  For those of you who deserve thanks, and I hope you know who you are, thanks.

  

Music is Good

I saw The Profits in concert earlier this night.  That was cool.  I wonder if anyone else would have like to go?

For as much as I think I know….

I dont understand how I might know it.  I mean, I have not gone through alot in my life compared to some.  Compared to others, I have gone through hell.  But nothing that I have done or gone through in my life would be able to give me the strength and confidence in what I can do everyday.  My goal is to help people.  Thats what I do, as much as I can.  Yet, it seems I try to help people in ways that I would never be qualified to help people.  I talk to people about things I have never experienced, sometimes, never even thought about.  I discuss things with friends that have never even crossed my mind.  And yet, I seem to be able to help people, if even just a little bit.  Why?  I dont know.  I’m not complaining, by any means.  This is something that I have thought about alot, and discussed with a few, and I realize that this is a gift that I have.  I also dont want to sound like I am bragging about an “amazing thing” that I can do.  All I am trying to do is put into words how I feel.  I dont quite understand how I can know so little, and seem to know so much.  Maybe I know more than I think, and thus I can help people with my untamed knowledge. 

Let me interject here letting you know that what I have said, and what I am about to say is completely knew ideas in my head.  These are things I have not really tried putting into words before, so I hope it makes some sense when its all finished…..so, continuing on…… 

Heres my new theory.  I think that I can help people because I care.  When you show someone that you care, you help them, regardless of what you say.  Sure, I can say things that will spark an intrest, or get people thinking in different ways, but that wouldnt mean much if I didnt care.  Maybe my true gift is my ability to care.  My ability to truly and honestly look at a person and care about them, without regret or judgement.  Just wanting everyone to be ok, and if they are not, then trying to help them. 

Care, or what some would call a friendly love, is something that goes beyond words.  It is something that touches people more than anything you could say.  I have met a couple people in my life a while ago that refused to listen to anything I said.  They refused to look at what I was trying to give them.  However, I was able to help them in a small way, just because they knew I cared.  It had nothing to do with the words I was saying, or the tone of my voice.  It was just the knowledge of my caring.  So, I think, ultimatly, being able to honestly care/love people is a much greater gift than helping people, only with words.

Maybe I have an even stronger gift than I thought.  This is something I going to have to completely think about in a new light now.  Hmmmmm…..

Why now

Why is it that the greatest moments in our lives occur when we know that the moment is soon to be gone?  Why is it that we can feel so wonderful, just to realize that what is, is now going to go away?  Is that what makes it so great?  Is it the mere fear and fact of losing the moments simply what makes those moments worth living for? 

No, it cant be.  Those moments were made amazing by the people you shared them with…and the people you shared them with are what is truly amazing.

The fact that its soon to be leaving is all just horrible timing…. 

Thanks to my friends….

There are no clear solutions, only choices.

Life and Thunderstorms (abridged version)

Change, as I am thinking of it now, is like thunder. So sometimes, things change instantaniously.  These moments are sometimes few and far between.  Sometimes they seem to be right on top of eachother. When this thunder happens, it will usually take you by suprise, though sometimes it is expected. Sometimes the can scare you, sometimes they can excite you.  Sometimes these moments will be accompanied by a large flash of understanding.  Sometimes they will be accompanied by a flash of denial.  However, in the end, combine all of the thunder, and the lightning….

and life is one hell of a storm.

What a crazy time of life

But thats what makes it fun, right?